Creating character in our girls

I can’t help but feel a bit guilty over the past year with the decisions I’ve made and how they affect our girls.  One of my daughters is 14 – a very impressionable age.  She is going through all the hormones and popularity challenges as well as trying to focus on school, excel in dance and shuffle back and forth.  She is my oldest and was there for things she should never have had to see, so she understands but it doesn’t make these things easier.

I worked very hard developing a relationship with her over the years and I feel we are close.  However, that does not prepare me for the things she is thinking, feeling and doing right now. I know I’m not alone here… where is the step-by-step instruction manual for teenagers??? I need the instructions for today!!!

It is often that I am reminded of my sole purpose in life and that is to raise loyal, respectable, trustworthy people.  I wish there was a scale or monitor that could tell me how I’m doing?  I just have to believe and trust (which is difficult) that she is developing good character and being the kind of friend and student that others look up to.  I am in constant wonder, am I setting a good example?  Only time and events will tell.

For now, I am watching both our beauties sleep… they are so sweet, pure and innocent. They are my purpose for working so hard to provide for them.  They are my reason to keep going when the bad days come.  For today, my focus is solely on them.  They need my support, love, attention, affection and guidance and I can’t wait to see who they become.

Keeping Focus

Hello!  My name is Kaysha Yates and I am almost 1 year into my divorce.  My ex and I have two beautiful daughters who, amidst all the chaos, seem to be doing ok.  Our tumultuous  marriage of 13 years ended in late March 2016 and my ex was engaged in July 2016 and was re-married in October 2016.  Needless to say, a lot has occurred over the past 12 months.  I will save the details and the “why” for a later post, just know the divorce was necessary for my own safety and well-being.  I am starting this Blog because I think there are many women/men in my place that either do not leave due to fear or are going through the same situations and may need to know they are not alone.

I took everything I could in the divorce in hopes that would “keep the peace” going forward.  That did not occur.  The only days that are not a battle are when there is no communication at all.  I decided very early on that returning the negative comments and/or behaviors did nothing for me and could hurt my children. I told myself I would respond with kindness, but I would not tolerate bullying or misbehavior.

Having that mindset has helped me in so many ways.  First, I do not feel good being mean and hurting someone.  I’m a giver/helper and I thrive on taking care of others.  Second, I like having no regrets. You know when you say something and later you wish you hadn’t?  I have not had one of those instances lately and I can sleep at night. Third, I can provide a better environment for my daughters when I am happy.  That environment is not what they have grown up with and I made these choices so that would be the major difference in their lives.  They deserve a conflict-free home, they deserve my time and attention and they deserve to be left out of all of this.  Keeping focus allows me to thrive each and every day despite the enemy trying to bring me down.