Sometimes it can be about you…

I am one of those people that love taking care of others.  My loved ones know I care because I show them daily.  But over the past few years, I have had to realize a very important part of balance in life – sometimes it can be about you.

As a full-time business woman, mother, friend, sister, daughter and girlfriend, I have a lot of people that depend on me and need my time.  Dividing it up and making sure everyone else is ok is exhausting and rewarding all at once.  I find that all of it is even more rewarding when I take a little time for myself each day.  Whether it’s at the gym or my own personal quiet time, I  can tell a difference when I don’t make me a priority.

Most days it’s time at the gym or a nap, but whatever it is it’s special.  I have the support of someone now that ensures I take time for me and also does things just for me to show me he cares… it’s amazing.  I don’t feel bad for taking time for me and those that truly love me – understand it’s important too.

Take time for you today.  What makes YOU happy?  What can you do to bring peace and joy to your life?  You deserve it, you need it and others will benefit even more.😘

Alcoholism hurts…

Today is Mother’s Day and I am so grateful to have the weekend to spend with my babies.  We got to go to an amusement park, eat at our favorite restaurant, shop and take fun photos in dress-up clothes.  We enjoyed our time together although it’s never enough. They will go with their dad tomorrow and he just keeps making things worse.  There are so many things he doesn’t understand and probably never will due to his addictions, but I want anyone reading this to get the fact that there are long-term effects on all your loved ones when you’re dealing with this disease and they never end…

He will never understand how hurtful it is for our girls to call to say goodnight and not be able to understand him because he is drunk (this occurred this weekend). Our daughter asked what was wrong with him and where he had been – he didn’t answer and they both knew.  They were thankful when they called this morning that he was ok and “seemed better.”

He will never understand that his selfish pride is interfering with a relationship with me that could only benefit them and earn their respect.

He will never understand that the early morning drunk texts to me could hurt many loved ones and serve no purpose other than confusion and concern.

Alcoholism is ugly and it hurts those around you much more than you realize.  Unfortunately, something really bad usually has to happen before it sinks in – I pray every day that isn’t the case for our girls.  I hope there comes a day that he understands.  I hope there comes a day that he puts them first and I really hope they don’t have to see their dad deteriorating right in front of them.  If you have children and you have this disease, keep their innocence away from it if possible… they are young, pure and do not need to see you as anyone other than their hero.  Our girls love their father, as they should, but I do believe he lost some of their respect this weekend.  I have worked very hard their entire lives ensuring they were protected from it all – they are growing up and I can no longer do that.  They have the ability to form their own opinions regardless of how I try to cover it up… Acoholism hurts so much – try to make sure it’s not hurting those you love the most.

Nobody wins…

My ex recently said “see you in court – you won’t win, but good luck”. One of the many things he will never understand is that nobody wins when you’re divorced with children.

In fact everyone loses a lot and the girls have lost the most.

They’ve lost the following:

Their family of 4 as they knew it

Their parents communicating and loving each other

Their sense of security

Their home

Their stability

Their belongings all being in one place

Their trust in marriage or relationships

Their ability to make sense of all that has happened in the past year

Their confidence in knowing all will be ok

I can’t give them all of this back, but I try to do whatever is best so they feel secure, loved and know what’s coming.   Some people do not understand how to put others’ feelings first.  Some just want to win… I want what’s best for the girls and winning has nothing to do with it.

Remember if you have children and are divorced or going through divorce, nobody wins – and the children end up losing the most.