Today is Mother’s Day and I am so grateful to have the weekend to spend with my babies. We got to go to an amusement park, eat at our favorite restaurant, shop and take fun photos in dress-up clothes. We enjoyed our time together although it’s never enough. They will go with their dad tomorrow and he just keeps making things worse. There are so many things he doesn’t understand and probably never will due to his addictions, but I want anyone reading this to get the fact that there are long-term effects on all your loved ones when you’re dealing with this disease and they never end…
He will never understand how hurtful it is for our girls to call to say goodnight and not be able to understand him because he is drunk (this occurred this weekend). Our daughter asked what was wrong with him and where he had been – he didn’t answer and they both knew. They were thankful when they called this morning that he was ok and “seemed better.”
He will never understand that his selfish pride is interfering with a relationship with me that could only benefit them and earn their respect.
He will never understand that the early morning drunk texts to me could hurt many loved ones and serve no purpose other than confusion and concern.
Alcoholism is ugly and it hurts those around you much more than you realize. Unfortunately, something really bad usually has to happen before it sinks in – I pray every day that isn’t the case for our girls. I hope there comes a day that he understands. I hope there comes a day that he puts them first and I really hope they don’t have to see their dad deteriorating right in front of them. If you have children and you have this disease, keep their innocence away from it if possible… they are young, pure and do not need to see you as anyone other than their hero. Our girls love their father, as they should, but I do believe he lost some of their respect this weekend. I have worked very hard their entire lives ensuring they were protected from it all – they are growing up and I can no longer do that. They have the ability to form their own opinions regardless of how I try to cover it up… Acoholism hurts so much – try to make sure it’s not hurting those you love the most.