Trials… they come to anyone and everyone and nobody is void from them (no matter what you see posted on social media). We each have a choice of how to react or proactively behave in order for these trials not to deteriorate or change who we are as a person.
I’ve seen many trials in my life and thankfully, I don’t see myself as a victim – I am a Victor and proud of it. I have chosen to take the high road in many circumstances (I did not use the word all here because sometimes I choose to respond or react negative and mirror the behavior that is thrown at me as I am not perfect and never will be). When I do take the high road the view is better and my heart feels at peace for my actions and my thoughts.
What does it mean to take the “high road”? Does it mean to allow others to walk all over you? The answer to that is NO – you can be kind and not tolerant at the same time. This is where your boundaries come into play. You must have them and stick to them otherwise you will be a doormat.
Does it mean that you are continuously nice regardless of how you are treated? The answer to this is No as well. You are responsible for your actions just as anyone else is. You can remove yourself from the negative behavior and if it doesn’t change, you may have to make a more permanent decision on why this person or people are in your life and what value they bring.
Taking the high road in my world is a choice I make each and every day. I am a mother – any parent has to choose this at one time or another throughout the day i.e. teenagers. I am a stepmother which brings a whole new set of challenges. I am married to a man with a high-conflict ex and I have a high-conflict ex myself. Add working in the customer service industry along with some volunteer activities each and every week and I have a “trial” almost every day.
It looks different for everyone, but it’s knowing you are doing the right thing even when it’s the hardest thing. Those teenagers will never respect you if you don’t respect yourself. High conflict people make everything difficult and it doesn’t have to be. Work is hard but it’s worth every ounce of effort and if I can volunteer my time in order to help someone else, we are both benefiting.
My closing thoughts… Don’t let someone else’s bad behavior bring you to their level! Don’t allow anyone to invade your boundaries and Don’t sacrifice your character when put in difficult situations. The “right” thing to do is usually not the “easy” thing to do. The view is pretty spectacular and a kind heart is so much prettier than the alternative.