This Is Me…

I love everything about this song and here’s why it belongs in MY story.

Being married and having children with an alcoholic is one of the toughest things I have ever been through. Divorcing that alcoholic was even more difficult and just when I think I’ve endured the worst, those influences are becoming evident in our children and a new battle begins for their safety and well-being.

“When the sharpest words wanna cut me down – I’m gonna send a flood – gonna drown em out”

My ex, his wife and a few friends of theirs consistently say “why are you talking about this? – you should get a life and stop worrying about theirs?”  I have a beautiful life, an amazing husband and I am setting the example I want my children to live in our home… I would love for that to occur in all of my children’s environments, but it doesn’t and their safety is my priority. Why would I blog about it and write a book you ask?  Because I am not the first person that has endured this nonsense and I’m sure I won’t be the last.  I’m bringing awareness and THIS IS ME – I certainly don’t ask that everyone like what I have to say or understand it.

🚫I am not going to stand for my minor child (15 year-old) being given alcohol by her stepmother or her father! Not just a sip, an entire glass or liquor mixes on more than one occasion. That is illegal and is now reported.

🚫I am not going to stand for my minor child to be allowed to be a designated care-taker to her “very drunk father” who chooses to use his time with them to feed his addictions. He only has them part-time and can use his “off weekends” to do that or the weekends that he has me watch them because concerts are more important.

🚫I am not going to stand for my minor children to have free reign over social media when I have strictly forbidden certain sites with good reason. Thankfully it was found early and is full of “evidence”.

🚫 I am not going to stand for any retaliation against my children for being honest about activities when I am not present that may bother and affect them in a negative way.

“I’m not scared to be seen – I make no apologies – THIS IS ME”

❤️ I will focus on helping our children build their character

❤️ I will fight for them to be safe regardless of where they are

❤️ I will do everything I can to provide boundaries for them when they aren’t mature enough to make them for themselves.

❤️ I will expect decency and following the law from anyone and everyone who spends time and has influence over our children.

❤️ I will support our children when they make mistakes and do everything I can to correct bad behavior.

I get it… teens are teens and when given an inch, they take a mile… well this past week I got to find out what happens when they are given the whole road. I have tried so hard over the years to protect them from this awful disease and all that comes with it. I have dreaded this reality and what happens next.

All of our children have 2 very different environments they live in and their little minds now have to be mature enough to choose character over the chaos. How can they be expected to choose rules over freedom? What happens when the other parents demonize us for being “too strict”. What is a teen going to do when left home alone until 1 or 2 am? In some cases, the law will step in. In some scenarios, a judge may intervene. In all cases parental guidance is crucial to ensure the overall well-being of our children.

Fortunately, I am very close with my daughters and they recognize our efforts. I cannot say the same for my step-daughter. She loves the freedom, minimal or no rules and nobody getting “into her business”. She has lost a beautiful relationship with her father and it is extremely sad and unnecessary.

I pray that we will have well-rounded children who make good decisions for their future, but they will not do that on their own. They require guidance, rules and consequences to understand accountability. They will get all of that wrapped in love in our household.

I am a nurturer, a leader, a hard-worker, a mother, a stepmother, a wife, a friend, a Christ follower, a disciplinarian and a giver… I expect decency and I enforce accountability and NOTHING is going to change all that I have poured into my babies to build who they are! THIS IS ME – I’m not perfect but I always put our babies first… in the end, they may be a little of ME too 😉

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