Expectations…

I have always had high expectations and I’ve learned a few things regarding expectations prior to divorce, during divorce and after a divorce.

Many of you are in the midst of one of these seasons and it IS temporary, but what you can learn from what you expect can make a huge difference in your overall ability to make the best of each situation.

  1. If you are/were married to someone that is selfish, do NOT expect that to change when you are no longer married to them.
  2. If you are/were married to someone that does not put the child’s best interest first, do NOT expect them to do that throughout the divorce or after it is final.
  3. If you are/were married to someone that doesn’t see education as a priority, do NOT expect them to have a vested interest in the education of your joint children of the marriage or to place it as a priority after you are no longer married.
  4. If you are/were married to someone that would hurt you intentionally, expect that to continue and possibly increase after you are no longer married.
  5. If you are/were married to someone with low self-esteem, do NOT expect that to change once you are no longer married to them.
  6. If you are/were married to someone that did not put God as a priority in your lives or the lives of your children, do NOT expect them to do this once you are no longer married… although you can pray for this daily.
  7. If you are/were married to someone that has/had no consistency with their life, do NOT expect them to be consistent when you are no longer married to them.
  8. If you are/were married to someone that has/had a pattern of bad decisions, do NOT expect them to make good decisions once you are no longer married.
  9. If you are/were married to someone that does/did not understand how/when to communicate effectively, do NOT expect them to understand that once you are no longer married.
  10. If you are/were married to someone that blames/blamed you for all their life struggles, do NOT expect that to change once you are no longer married.

This is a short list, but you get the idea.  While there are some circumstances where people change, having the mindset and expectations for them to do so in this environment is not advantageous for you or anyone around you.

High Expectations, while relevant and have good intent, will eventually lead to disappointment in a divorce situation.  There is enough disappointment throughout divorce and the years following, there is no reason to add to it.  It is healthy to expect the behaviors of your ex to continue as they were – you are divorced for a reason.  Your purpose is to lighten the effect those behaviors have on your children as much as possible.  Keep in mind your children may be spending half their time with your ex and they are little sponges.  Re-direction is key and you must lead by example.  Organizing your expectations and not developing un-realistic ones can help you stay grounded, not be surprised by actions/events and avoid constant disappointment.

Image result for expectations quotes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s