Have you ever realized that you can be very clear on a certain communication and when someone isn’t hearing what they want to hear, they will continue to nag you until you say the exact same thing you’ve already said? This is our scenario at this time and it is a waste of everyone’s time. What’s really interesting is when the kids are brought in to harass you into another explanation (a regular occurrence).
There’s a great saying… “No response is a response” – but that doesn’t phase these high-conflict individuals and that’s when the kids are brought in, which is unacceptable. At this point, email communication is the route we have taken (per court order) and it is there in BLACK AND WHITE with date stamps and additional details to go back and review at any moment there may be a discrepancy or a lack of understanding. That’s still not enough? Why are the kids brought in? Why are they sending multiple text messages while in school when their grades are lacking? Why is every single communication mis-read, mis-interpreted and completely misunderstood? Why does every interaction have to be so difficult? The only answer is… it’s bullsh*t and we do not have time for it!
I created this blog to assist others in my/our situation with the chaos that comes with divorce and being mindful of what you contribute. I have written about character, boundaries, loyalty, kindness, respect and mistakes along the way. I have taken the high road most days and have been very proud of my integrity throughout all the trials and struggles we have encountered, but enough is enough. We do not have time for this type of constant bullsh*t and neither should you.
My book of choice this month is “Everybody Always” by best-selling author Bob Goff. He is an amazing person, author, husband and mentor. He has a paragraph in Chapter 1 that states, “There are people in my life and yours who are unsafe, toxic and delight in sowing discord wherever they go. God gave us discernment, and we should use it as we live our lives”. At no time are we to continuously allow such chaos to disrupt our lives. Our happiness is important and toxic people will never be happy, so why spend time going back and forth. Nothing will ever be what they want to hear and you cannot change that.
The #1 rule in all co-parenting transcripts is – DO NOT INVOLVE THE KIDS. That is also simple, and should not be an issue of misunderstanding. We will continue to be clear in communication and respond when necessary and I still believe communication is key. But at no time will we allow the kids to be involved or instigate anything on our behalf nor will we repeat our communication over and over. Our time is precious, we are hard-working people and when we draw the line, we draw the line. Our kindness is overwhelming, our generosity is constant and our love for our children is unmatched. We will focus our energy on areas and people that matter and use our discernment when dealing with toxic individuals. When all else fails, feel free to minimize the bullsh*t that toxic people add to your life as well.